“So, what do you do?”

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Ah yes, the classic icebreaker—designed to fill silence whilst often triggering a mini existential crisis.

I lump it in with other surface-level spirals like: “What’s your five-year plan?” “Where’s your career heading?” “Who do you want to be when you grow up?”

Why are we so obsessed with planning? Forecasting every step? Mapping out life like a step by step recipe? Scott Stillman, in I Don’t Want to Grow Up, writes about how animals live for the day – every day. Some people frown and pity them for their lack of foresight. But really, isn’t that a blessing?

To not worry about any moment other than the one you’re in? To be fully absorbed in the here and now? That’s living.

I’m not shunning humans entirely for their love of planning. I enjoy knowing there’s a holiday, an event or Christmas (yippee!) on the horizon. That anticipation builds excitement and makes the occasion even more special when it finally arrives—because you waited.

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But do we need to plan so much that we lose sleep over what interest rates will be in 2032? Or whether the state pension will still exist by the time we are 65? Yes, take action. Be bold. But don’t forget the beauty of today. This moment. This breath.

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“Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”

- John Lennon

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The sweet spot? A loose plan (emphasis on LOOSE). One that leaves room for joy, spontaneity, and surprise. Plans should be fun: Learn a language. Run a race. Climb a mountain. Not: “If I don’t earn X amount, have two kids and an Audi by 35, I’ve failed.”

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The only failure is forgetting to live.

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As Alan Watts said ‘the future is a gift that can only be enjoyed by those who are capable of enjoying the present.’

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So next time someone asks, “What do you do?” Try: “I do what I need to live—and spend the rest of my time doing what makes me happy.”

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Because maybe, just maybe, that’s the best plan of all.

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